30.) And finally: Write a letter to your character, from yourself.
There’s a lot I could talk to you about. I feel horrible about it, but I want to shake some sense into you over how you’re acting. I know it’s wrong, because I actually know how you feel. I’ve been through that deep depression, and I know how hard it is to get yourself to rise out of it, especially when everything seems to point to how it’s better to just stay -down-.
But sweetie…it’s not better. -Everyone- but you seems to realize that the majority of what you are beating yourself up over is -not your fault-. Set, you were put in a situation that put you through daily torture to protect the Twins. You gave up your mind to keep them safe. Yes, I know, you nearly killed Katy, but darling…I can’t really even blame you for that. It was an -accident-. You were not in your right mind and I -know- beyond any doubts you didn’t mean to hurt her, and even though it hurt both you and them, you stayed -away- after that, to keep them safe, because the alternative was worse. You protected them to the point of dying for them, Set.
Sweetie, if all of that doesn’t point to how much you love them and how much you -do- deserve to be happy now, I don’t know what does. You tried so hard. I know you think you failed, but Set, you really didn’t, not where it matters most. Maybe you aren’t alive down there to be with them -that- way, but honey, they -know- how much you love them. That’s what counts, and they know you still love them even if you’re not there to tell them. They love -you-. They don’t hate you. -None- of the family still living hates you, and neither does any of the family up at Home -with- you.
I know it’s hard. I know you hate yourself. I know you feel like you don’t deserve anything but hate and scorn, that you don’t deserve to be able to cry and -heal-. But sweetheart, you -do- deserve to be loved and you do deserve to be able to heal from this heartache. The massive amount of love you have for your family, and the -remorse- you have even for the things that were NOT YOUR FAULT -proves- it.
I know you don’t really like talking to Theta even though she loves you; I understand. But please, at least don’t push Hom away? If you won’t let yourself go to your parents, if you won’t let yourself speak to Angie or Theta or Odin…please, at least don’t keep Hom out. Let your cousin talk to you…or just let him be -with- you, but please, don’t shut him out. Let him love you and -help- you, please. I hate seeing you hurting like this and being entirely unable to do anything to help you, so please, -please-, let Hom help.
We -all- love you, Set. We really do.